EAL/ESL Report Comments: Writing, Secondary
Writing moves from copying and labelling to words, captions, framed sentences, paragraphs and longer texts. It covers organising writing for different purposes and subjects, spelling, punctuation and presentation, and planning, checking and improving work using models, word banks and feedback.
Below are 13 sample sentences for Secondary (ages 11-18): two strengths and one next step for each of the 4 comment levels (Competent / fluent / Developing competence / Early acquisition / New to English), plus a tip for families. They are a small selection from the 183 writing sentences in the full pack. Copy one, then add a detail only you know about the student.
Jump to: Competent / fluent · Developing competence · Early acquisition · New to English · Writing tips
Fills in the name and pronouns on this page. Nothing is sent anywhere.
Competent / fluent D
Strengths
- [Name]'s homework is well written, with ideas developed in full paragraphs and very few language errors.
- After reading written feedback, [Name] rewrites sections of [his/her/their] work so that the meaning is clearer and more precise.
Next step
- [Name] would make an excellent writing mentor for a younger student who is new to the school, helping to turn ideas into English sentences.
Developing competence C
Strengths
- In geography, [Name] writes short reports about places, organising facts under headings with some support.
- After feedback from the teacher, [Name] corrects marked errors and rewrites sentences more clearly.
Next step
- [He/She/They] could use an essay frame with a box for the point, the evidence and the explanation to organise longer answers.
Early acquisition B
Strengths
- [Name] plans written answers with notes and a model answer before writing simple sentences in English.
- Before writing, [Name] uses a picture dictionary or bilingual dictionary to find the English words for [his/her/their] ideas.
Next step
- [He/She/They] would benefit from labelling diagrams in science and geography and then writing one sentence to explain each label.
New to English A
Strengths
- [Name] keeps a vocabulary book for each subject, writing each new English term next to the word in [his/her/their] home language.
- Working with a same-language buddy, [Name] translates words between [his/her/their] home language and English and records them in a vocabulary book.
Next step
- A colour-coded model showing where to write each answer will help [Name] place copied English words in the correct part of a subject worksheet.
Support at home
- Label a few objects at home, such as the door, table and fridge, in English and your home language so that your child sees written words every day.
How to write writing comments for Secondary (ages 11-18)
- Name the subject and type of writing: a science method, a geography explanation, a persuasive paragraph. Conventions differ between subjects, so families need to know where the student is secure and where support remains.
- Credit home-language planning. A secondary student who plans ideas in their home language, then writes in English using a glossary, is using a sound strategy, and the comment can say so plainly.
- Suggest a short personal checklist, such as tense, capital letters and paragraph breaks, that the student uses to check homework before handing it in. Name the item on it that matters most for this student.
Watch out: Avoid listing every error in a piece of writing. Name what the student can now do, then one pattern to work on, such as verb endings, so the comment stays encouraging and the next step is clear.
Rate each skill separately, since many students understand more than they can say. At stage D, write about precision and range; at C, growing independence with errors still showing; at B, short phrases and visual support; at A, what the student does now and the support that helps. Show the stage through evidence rather than naming it.
What Writing covers
In these comments, writing covers these behaviours:
- moves from copying and labelling to writing sentences and longer texts
- organises writing for different purposes and subjects
- spells, punctuates and presents writing with growing accuracy
- plans, checks and improves writing using models and feedback
More EAL/ESL comments
- Listening, Secondary (ages 11-18)
- Speaking, Secondary (ages 11-18)
- Reading, Secondary (ages 11-18)
- Writing, Primary (ages 5-11)
- Vocabulary and Grammar, Secondary (ages 11-18)
- Language-Learning Behaviours, Secondary (ages 11-18)
- Opening and closing sentences
- All EAL/ESL skills and grade bands
- For the same report: Subject Report Comments for Cambridge Primary and Lower Secondary, Stages 1-9
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How these sentences were made, and what has been checked: About these comments.